Everyday I’ve cried for the last 19 months.
If you think you know my pain, your wrong.
Only few do.
But I’m pretty sure it’s not you.
I’ve been utterly debilitated by pain.
The cries I had at night in the beginning daily took my breath away.
Laying there trying so hard to be silent so I wouldnt wake people who dont care.
Throughout the day my grief would hit so hard I’d hide in a bathroom stall.
I’d let it out In the shower.
Had to find a way to shut my feelings my off, had to drowned it out.
And there in those moments I found God in a cell.
He started following me to the bathroom stall.
Following me in the shower.
Giving me comfort at night when my tears wouldnt stop.
I suddenly began to find peace in the wind.
I found peace in the way birds would fly in the sky.
The way the leaves would change color and even when the color would fade.
His beauty was every where.
His beauty’s in my pain.
I dont usually see it while it’s happening but I know its there.
Other wise He wouldnt of saved my life.
“I have plans to prosper you, to give you a future and a hope” He says.
And I believe it because without that prison sentence I’d be 100 percent dead today.
I’m finally really alive even through the pain.
All of it’s for Gods glory and I dont care what anyone has to say.